Good Guys Lose

Why Good Guys Lose

Um, they don't. That's really a misconception. I have met many guys who considered themselves to be 'good guys' who just plain weren't.

I have met rude attractive men, and rude, unattractive men. There is no difference. Maybe some women want 'bad boys'? I've heard that, yet I have never met a single woman in my life that has told me that's what she wanted. All the women I've known seem to want people they can have a good relationship with.

People who crave conflict? Eh- I don't know what to do with them.

My Dad told me a long time ago--- Never marry anyone you don't have to stand on tiptoe to kiss. I'm not going to tell him this, but he's right. Having to stand on tiptoe means you have to work at it. You have to make an effort. Which you will do if you love someone. The part I won't tell him is that, yeah, regarding sex, it just works better if the male person is a little bit taller.

He also said that men should always open the car door for the lady, or they are disrespectful. And, than men should always walk on the side of the street that has traffic. He actually wrote a book about his life, that I read to VvonV when we first got together. In over a year and a half, VvonV has not once ever not opened my car door. He has actually taught by example for my boys to open my car door. I remember being pregnant each time, and standing in the rain because my ex did not open my car door.

But, my Dad went further- he said that any 'lady' who did not unlock or open the car door after she got in did not deserve the guy who had opened the door for her.

Which I totally agree with. I make an effort to show VvonV and my boys how much I appreciate the respect they give me. I make an effort to do things that show respect for them. But, it never fails- we can be in a parking lot and people will stare when VvonV opens my car door.

Summing it up- no... nice people don't always finish last. It just might take a while to get there. I've known VvonV for over 20 years- through other marriages and divorces, and I never thought of him personally because of the circumstances we were in. He is an incredibly good man, and I am lucky to have him. But, he's also nice. So it just isn't true that nice people finish last, or that nice people lose.

You will notice that I don't claim that I am 'nice'. I think that I am, but experience has shown me that I am not deferential enough to be considered 'nice'. I have a brain, have opinions, and am not 'wishy-washy' enough to be considered a 'nice' girl. Which, according to VvonV is exactly why he likes me.

I guess my point is- stop making excuses for why you don't have a relationship. Either change yourself to fit the shallow stereotype of who you want, or find the kind of person that you want. I am an artist, music player, and vegetarian, so it's a no-brainer that VvonV is all of those things and more. But the bottom line is that we both share an idea of no conflict. Above all, I'm guessing it's our conjoined idea of low conflict that gets us along. That, and the fact that I love him to death.

Growing Followers

Growing followers- How often should you water them?

Maybe it's just me, but it's like nails on a chalkboard every time I read about someone 'growing' their business or their followers. Something about the syntax just bothers me.

That said, my newest website is in production, and I'm hoping it turns out well. I understand that some people want a hands-off turnkey website, but I know from my experience that those kind of websites turn me off.

From the research I've done regarding creating a website, I have now learned about and am painfully aware of when some website I surfed onto has 'canned' information. I know that my instinct was right, because on several occassions I have checked on the internet and found the exact same text on another site. Usually you can tell because it's horribly written, contains typographical errors, and usually makes no sense. I'm guessing it's because the owner hired some person to 'write' content for their site.

I worked as a copywriter for a couple of years in Santa Barbara, and yes, it can be boring. But I would never put my name on a piece of crap that made no sense. I worked as an editor for a number of years, and it was always obvious when someone was hired for personal reasons rather than their literary skills. I always hated having to edit the work of someone that the higher-ups wanted to sleep with, because their writing was always appalling. And it made more work for me.

So, whether anyone likes it or not- I write my own stuff. I'd like to make some money from it, but I certainly never want it to 'grow' my income. I prefer to 'grow' plants. Like tomatoes.

Potawatomi- Genealogy- Zoe Bruno

I am quite a big fan of genealogy. In years past, I used to do it somewhat infrequently for adoptees, as a sort of second income. It used to be interesting, though intensive work. You had to be able to think. Then came the constriction of the internet as a source of information. Everything that used to be free, like birth and death records became private information that you had to pay for.

That was back when it was somewhat free to search on the internet. Now, even if you can locate some internet file with your family tree in it, some internet website 'owns' that information, and you have to pay to view it, because the people who posted it paid a fee to belong to the site, and essentially gave the rights to their genealogy to some website. I doubt the people who posted that information intended for some third party to make money off their research, but that's the way it appears to work now. Do any search for a family tree, and you will no doubt be faced with being asked to pay to see your own family tree.

As an adoptee myself, I have done extensive research for other people, other adoptees, and myself, as I think my children deserve to have a clear idea of where they have come from, and what their lineage is.

In doing that research, I have come to a roadblock, as many people do, with one person in my family tree. My research has shown me that a lot of other people who share Potawatomi lineage have come to a roadblock at this point as well.

The Zink/Immel Ukrainian/Alsace connection has been pretty well documented back to about the 16-1700's, but the Bruno/Rhodd Native American side is harder to document, even though it is one of the supposed founding names of the Potawatomi tribe.

What I do have at this point is this-

At about Jan 04, 1812, Antoine Bruno (Brunow, Bruneau) was born in Maskingnonge, Quebec, Canada. His father was Jean Baptiste Bruno (Brunow, Bruneau), and his mother was Constance Blanchette.

He married a Blackfeet Indian woman named 'Julia' who was born in 1823. She is described variously in different documents as being "Blackfeet", "sauvagesfe" and "Sansagrafe". (Sauvagesfe being some translation of French meaning 'Savage', and 'Sansagrafe' being a French translation meaning 'without staples, or without fasteners'- not sure if the meaning applies to clothing or lifestyle/location).
Antoine was married to at least 3 other white women, and had somewhat in the area of at least 19 children (whose ages overlap), so it's likely he wasn't really married to Julia at the time, but was doing some 'common law' type thing while possibly married to one of his other wives.
He had 3 children with Julia, one of whom was Zoe (Zoa, Zoie). At least one of the siblings, I think Jean Baptist, died on the trail with a French explorer.

The three children are documented as being baptised, with their mother not being named as other than 'sauvaesfe' or 'Sansagrafe'. They were described as being very attractive, and their mother being very attractive. At this point I'm guessing this would make them 1/2 Blackfeet and 1/2 French Canadian.

Zoe went on to marry Alexander Rhodd, in 1873. As far as I can tell, Alexander was born in 1850 and had a brother named Charley who married someone named Hellen(Helen). Alexander is on the Indian Rolls as full Potawatomi. On June 25, 1890, he marked his "X" on an agreement with the US. The Rhodds thereafter show up on census records as Potawatomi. If anyone has genealogy taking the Rhodds back further, I'd love to see it. Zoe also appears to have been married at least 2 other times, having children with familiar Potawatomi names such as Jacob DeLonais(DeHoney, DeLony) as well as Francois Bourbonais.

Zoe and Alexander had Peter Albert Rhodd, who married into the Zink/Immel Ukrainian line with Julianna, who had Wendelina Rhodd- one of their children being Joseph Alexander Rhodd who married Anna Vietenheimer (Veidenhuener? also from the Ukraine), who had Gene LaVerne Rhodd, who eventually had me. I lose Anna at some point because of the proliferation of the 'Franks' or 'Franz' from Ukraine that could be her father, though it appears likely that they intermarried French or Alsace as well. Online records show the Rhodd brothers (and possibly cousins) as being drafted for WW1.

I have come across something referring to 'Granny Zoa' or 'Granny Bruno', describing her as someone knowlegeable about herbs and medicine, but it was on restricted pages that I could not access. If anyone has that information for me, I would appreciate it.

One thing that has come up in my personal research, as well as the research I've been paid to do, is that the fact that prior to the last 100 years, it was common for brothers and sisters and cousins to intermarry into the same families, and to then name their children after their parents, brothers and sisters. Which means you can end up with 4 different 'Zoe's' born within 15 years of each other. I've also learned that the Ellis Island documents are sketchy at best simply because it appears they sounded out people's names rather than transcribing them correctly. Ergo, Immels are documented as 'Imhels' and 'Immals' and Veitenheimers become 'Veidenheuners'. It appears that the majority of the Immel/Zink/Veitenheimers were of French/Ukrainian descent, and that they ended up in Canada and eventually Utah and Texas, (eventually eventually Oklahoma or Kansas reservations) depending on whether they linked with Native Americans. They appear to have liked Native Americans quite a bit!

On the matrilineal side, I haven't gotten as far. I've only been able to trace substantively to a Robert Lee Ogden born 1918, married to a Lola (Iola?)Humphreys born 1922. There are obviously hints to prior Ogdens, as well as a Minnie Mary Errans(Arons?), Harley G. Humphreys (Humphries?) and Lutes. If I recall correctly, the Ogdens or Errans on that side were Kickapoo, Sac or Fox. Anyone with information about this would be highly welcomed as well.

I would like to get somewhere with my matrilineal research- without paying websites for the privelege. I am at a point where I feel I may have to pay for birth/marriage records for the Ogden/Humphreys in order to pull it back further, but I'm ok with that. I'm not ok with paying to view internet family histories of those same people.

And, if anyone has more information about the Bruno/Rhodd or Immel/Zink line, I would be more than happy to post it here, for free, for anyone to look at.

It really annoys the shit out of me when people restrict information for money. Doing a service, which is what I do when I research adoptions or genealogy that other people don't know how to do, or don't want to take the time to do is in my opinion worthy of charging a fee for. It takes no effort or work at all to withhold information, so people who do that should not get paid for it.

Everyone deserved the right to access to their own family history. Public documents should not be ownable. Just my opinion.

What Makes a Good Product?

Good Question- What Does Make a Good Product?

First and foremost for me, I like a product that does what it claims. It can be ugly (though I'd prefer it not), but it has to work.

One of the best products I've ever found was one of those hokey-sounding products being hawked on late night shopping channels. They were some special mops made out of some 'space age' material. I remember being skeptical, but for some reason I bought them anyway.

They were the best mops I've ever used. You didn't even have to sweep before you used them. I liked them so much that I bought them for my parents and friends. They liked them, too.

The one major flaw was in their design was that they had to be completely rehydrated before use, or the mop would break off when you used the wringer. Which eventually happened when one of my friends did not rehydrate my mop before they used it.

I reordered another mop and tried to use the broken mop by hand until my new mops came. And then, I was MAD. The mops I got were NOT the same. They were the same colour, same design, but not the same material. And they didn't work.

That is a bad product. My mother's mop and my friends' mops still work, 10 years later. I've even offered to buy one from them, but they won't part with them. I recycled the replacements mops- there was no point in even keeping them.

That is a bad product.

Products that work are good products.

Don't even get me started on what I think of the new Dell Studio 14z that I bought a few weeks ago. That review will have to wait until I can write about it without getting livid.

So what is my point? A good product works. It doesn't need hype, and will sell itself. Bad products will not work. As simple as that, even if it's just a mop.