Good Guys Lose

Why Good Guys Lose

Um, they don't. That's really a misconception. I have met many guys who considered themselves to be 'good guys' who just plain weren't.

I have met rude attractive men, and rude, unattractive men. There is no difference. Maybe some women want 'bad boys'? I've heard that, yet I have never met a single woman in my life that has told me that's what she wanted. All the women I've known seem to want people they can have a good relationship with.

People who crave conflict? Eh- I don't know what to do with them.

My Dad told me a long time ago--- Never marry anyone you don't have to stand on tiptoe to kiss. I'm not going to tell him this, but he's right. Having to stand on tiptoe means you have to work at it. You have to make an effort. Which you will do if you love someone. The part I won't tell him is that, yeah, regarding sex, it just works better if the male person is a little bit taller.

He also said that men should always open the car door for the lady, or they are disrespectful. And, than men should always walk on the side of the street that has traffic. He actually wrote a book about his life, that I read to VvonV when we first got together. In over a year and a half, VvonV has not once ever not opened my car door. He has actually taught by example for my boys to open my car door. I remember being pregnant each time, and standing in the rain because my ex did not open my car door.

But, my Dad went further- he said that any 'lady' who did not unlock or open the car door after she got in did not deserve the guy who had opened the door for her.

Which I totally agree with. I make an effort to show VvonV and my boys how much I appreciate the respect they give me. I make an effort to do things that show respect for them. But, it never fails- we can be in a parking lot and people will stare when VvonV opens my car door.

Summing it up- no... nice people don't always finish last. It just might take a while to get there. I've known VvonV for over 20 years- through other marriages and divorces, and I never thought of him personally because of the circumstances we were in. He is an incredibly good man, and I am lucky to have him. But, he's also nice. So it just isn't true that nice people finish last, or that nice people lose.

You will notice that I don't claim that I am 'nice'. I think that I am, but experience has shown me that I am not deferential enough to be considered 'nice'. I have a brain, have opinions, and am not 'wishy-washy' enough to be considered a 'nice' girl. Which, according to VvonV is exactly why he likes me.

I guess my point is- stop making excuses for why you don't have a relationship. Either change yourself to fit the shallow stereotype of who you want, or find the kind of person that you want. I am an artist, music player, and vegetarian, so it's a no-brainer that VvonV is all of those things and more. But the bottom line is that we both share an idea of no conflict. Above all, I'm guessing it's our conjoined idea of low conflict that gets us along. That, and the fact that I love him to death.